The realistic life of an artist (Being paid for shows, idiot promoters)

So as my followers know, and my non-followers don’t know, I am just fully about this entertainment life. From dancer, to musician, to singer, to comedian, to blogger, to you name it, I do it. The best thing about it is that I get to do what I love doing, and surprisingly people come back week after week just to see what it is I’m doing. See now that makes zero sense to me because I always get the feeling that anybody can do this, yet I receive comments everyday saying things like “You’re so funny”, and “Your music is amazing”. Don’t get me wrong I don’t want to come across as arrogant, I also receive comments saying “F**k you dumbass monkey n***er, you’re not funny, and your music sucks”. People sure are crazy. So I’m gonna give you a little insight into the realistic life of an artist, and for those of you who feel like you already know how our lives play out, here’s a random disclaimer…

Now lets begin.

Depending on which form of art you choose, you will get a variety of different reactions from people. Tell somebody you’re a singer, they will probably brush it off with a “That’s nice…” as if they are subconsciously telling you, “I ain’t buying your music!” However, if you open a conversation by telling somebody you’re a comedian, 90% of the time they are gonna ask you to tell them a joke. In which I respond, “Show me the joke money.” As an artist in general, we lead frustrating lives. So my music is on Youtube, and Soundcloud, along with my email address. If you’re a company that does events, I’m really not so difficult to contact. The most frustrating thing about being an artist, is the dumbass offers we get. “Hi Tyrael, I love your music, would you like to perform at xyz event next week?” I’m thinking great, finally my 15 years of writing lyrics, working on my voice, learning to produce music and compose, is finally paying off. “Sure thing, my current rate ranges between £150 and £400 depending on how many people are attending”, this is where sh*t gets f**ked. “Oh well we won’t be able to pay you, but if you perform, it’s good promotion for you.” Get the hell out of here, so if you work at subway, and you make sandwiches for a living, and I want you to make a sandwich in your SPARE time. Next thing im trying to pay you in promotion… Are you really going to take it? What kind of bulls**t is this?

Another perfect example of how dumb this is; a plumber comes out to fix your sink, “That will be £80”, then you reply “Oh well I won’t be able to pay you, but think of it as practice, and I will tell all of my friends how good you are.” Artists, if you are performing for free, stop that s**t, I have performed at enough free venues to tell you that, it gets you nowhere. If you’re willing to work for free, then record yourself and put it on Youtube, or Soundcloud. After a year, you will probably have been seen by 200 people. Isn’t that better than making some other clown money by performing and receiving nothing?

Life as an artist ain’t all bad though, if you are making a couple of dollars here and there, technically, you are being paid for your work. This makes you a professional! Now telling a girl at a bar you’re a professional music producer, or professional blogger, sounds a lot better than Underground rapper. Throw the word professional in front of whatever it is you do, you are gonna get all the chicas, believe me. My boy earns a few hundred from Google Ads a month, not enough to live on, but when he approaches the ladies he doesn’t tell them that. The only line he uses, “Hi, I work for Google...” guaranteed my friend, guaranteed!

The life of an artist is tough, but we have a couple of perks here and there, being independent feels great though. Most artists aren’t eating solely off their work, but at least they still have that chance available, even if it is a 1% chance. Beats not doing anything other than work a 9-5 and having a 0% chance. Finally, the best part about being an artist, when you are actually great at your craft, forget the fans, you get to meet other artists who are amazing, who you otherwise wouldn’t have ever met. My network of dope artists is crazy, I mean we all pretty much broke, but the talent is wild. And if all else fails, you have to remember, a slice of toast, is just a burned piece of bread!

Money Makers Online and Making a living (Myths Busted)! Roulette, Youtube and Ebay

If you have met me before, you will know that I constantly come up with all of these phenomenal ideas; that if executed correctly, could make everybody involved millionaires. Not to toot my own horn or anything. Just this morning, it hit me... Yet another idea on how to make some money online, if you've ever seen Only Fools and Horses, I'm pretty much Del Boy. If you havn't seen it, what are you doing with your life.

Anyways, I'm sure you didn't come to this page to listen to me go on and on about how great I am, so I'll just give you some tips right now on definite money makers online. You ready? Ok, let's do this.

1. The Epic Roulette Hack

So when I was in University, I discovered a fool proof formula to win at roulette. Guaranteed to win every time. Now in theory, it was brilliant, let me explain it and try to find a flaw in the logic. Bet £1 on red, if it comes up red, you just doubled your money. If it comes up black, your next move will be to bet £2 on red, followed by £4 on red, and continue to double your bet until it comes up red, and you make all of your money back plus the original £1. 

Can you guess what the problem is? and the reason I had to give this trick up quickly? Well my curious friend, if you square your initial bet of £1, 20 times (If it comes up black 20 times in a row), the next bet you have to put in will be over £500,000. Go ahead, do the maths yourself. I discovered this the hard way, when I bet £62 on red because black came up 7 times in a row. For sure red was gonna come up eventually, but come on man, you really expect me to gamble my entire student loan, with hopes of becoming £1 in profit. That's a madness. Anyways, try it for yourself sometime, the adrenaline rush is unreal.

2. Make money real quick on Youtube

Making money quickly by starting a Youtube channel. So many people I know have tried this, and you can tell they have tried this because they always have a look of defeat on their face. I've been running my Youtube channel for over 3 years, more like 5 to be honest since I had a Youtube channel before this one. To begin with, you're gonna suck, that's that. Everybody sucks when they start, you won't realize you suck, but trust me, you will suck. When I see my early videos, I feel the need to take them down, but they are still racking me views so meh... A view is a view.

So the reason why people expect one thing with Youtube, then end up getting a completely different experience, is because they don't stick to it. It's kind of off putting when you are spending 4 hours on a video, uploading, and getting 2 views. Believe me, I was there at one point. If you are trying to make a quick buck, never gonna happen. Try 5 years for a few lousy pounds a month.

3. Selling on Ebay

So I tried this one a while ago, it seems legit to be honest, you buy items cheap, sell em for higher. But what about those times you accidentally over value something, because you feel like you could get a better deal on it. You end up paying a few hundred for something, and nobody wants that sh*t. You just got scammed friend. Ok, this one isn't too bad, you can definitely make a living off of this, but it's a lot of work, effort, and storage. Also, you have to be willing to flop a few times. I mean, don't spend all of your life savings on one product thinking it's gonna make you rich. Only to find out, nobody wants that crap, that was last years model... Unlucky.

To be honest, the problem with making money online, or making a living based on your own hard work; most people give up when they don't see immediate results. But then, why would you stick to something if it isn't going anywhere, it really is a waste of time. You could be working for Walmart and making $10 an hour, it doesn't sound like much, but it beats working hard for $0 an hour, or -$10 an hour.

If you take it serious, give it a year or learning, practice, and letting it build, you will definitely be making money, but you have to be in it for the long haul. Too many people give up when they see no results. With my Youtube channel for example, I wernt seeing any results, so what did I do to counter this? I tried a different method, eventually after around the millionth method, I finally nailed it.

That's what you gotta do, get nailing my dargs.

How much can you make busking? (The Secrets to Street Performing as a living)

So today I was just looking through the messages in my dance crew’s group chat; and I couldn’t help but notice while I was eaves dropping that a little debate broke out. “Bro, we aren’t making as much money as before, we have too many rules”, followed by “No, you aren’t listening to what I said, that’s why we aren’t making money.” Anyways, as usual, Tyrael had the answers to all their problems, and for those of you who believe Tyrael doesn’t hold the key, here’s a random disclaimer…

Now let’s begin.

Ok, so after busking for the past 8 months, possibly longer with my own crew, I have come to a few conclusions. If you want to make a living from this, you best make sure your group is on point, and are communicating well. One of my friends from a different crew told me his crew make around £100 each a night. Now I don’t know how many hours they busk for a night, and I havn’t seen their routine, but he told me it isn’t to do with their dancing, it was mostly the way they communicate, and the songs they played. My crew on the other hand, when we first started, I remember making around £30 each a day, for 2 hours work. Yer, that sounds pretty nice right, but we were there at peak times, and peak times only last around 2 hours a day, so it was aiiiggghtttt!

Recently, I havn’t been busking too much due to an injury. Now I am hearing through the grapevine that my crew are making quite a bit less than before. This doesn’t make sense to me, surely you should improve and make more money, but after busking once again, I noticed that we weren’t following the same formula as before. We had a lot of people in our crew, some were focused on making money, and others focused on just having fun. Unfortunately, that was the downfall; you need to all be on the same page. Finding the right balance is key, here is a list of tactics that I have noticed to be pretty useful along the way.

1. Communication: This is number one, because it is the top secret as to how to make plenty of money while busking. You could be the most amazing dancer, or musician, if you can’t communicate with the audience, why do they want to give their money to just another dance crew or musician. They don’t give a f**k about you, they just got a free show #winning. HOWEVER, If you directly interact with somebody watching, and you make them smile or laugh, 90% of the time, they will feel bad walking away without giving you anything. So use that little method, to trick your entire audience into feeling like you’re their friend. Sure, it seems fake, but only because people don’t usually interact in day to day life.

2. Support each other: So this sounds pretty much elementary, but I’ll tell you, in the past 2 months, we had a shift in the way we interact with each other, and it has been our downfall. To all of my dancers out there, if somebody in your crew messes up, what the f**k are you doing laughing, and shouting “CRASH, CRASH, CRASH”. Sure, it doesn’t look professional if they mess up, but it looks 10x worse if the people who are supposed to be your brothers are laughing at it, and making it bigger than it is. Trust me, it’s happened while I was busking, somebody crashed, and next dudes were shouting “Crash”. Well… There goes another £10. Nobody wants to support you if you are making somebody else feel bad, ever heard of empathy?

3. Practice: If you are going for routines, or if you are a musician, you need to make sure your s**t is on point. How are you gonna step foot into Trafalgar Square, start playing a saxophone, and get every note wrong? That’s self explanatory, you aint making enough for a bus home. Alternatively, if you step into Bond Street (That’s where my people busk, Fridays at 8pm, come check us out), and a routine is sloppy, and out of time… Just don’t do the routine. Simple as that, you are hurting your own performance, stick to something simple that everybody can master, not something crazy that some will master and others will flop.

4. Bad Language/hurtful Jokes: Everybody loves a good hurtful joke… BUT, we only like them in the comfort of their own home, among our own friends. Not a bunch of dudes in the street, who you have never seen before. One of the boys I dance with is on the chubby side, so when communicating with the audience, they would joke with the audience about him being fat. This dude even started hiding in the back so he wouldn’t get picked on, but, like clockwork he still got called out. Until a single brave soul stepped up and told them to stop that… That brave soul… Was I *Puts shades on, walks away into the sunset*. Ok I’m back, the audience can see with their own eyes that there was a problem in that scenario, so obviously nobody found it funny, just awkward. Don’t make the audience feel awkward if you want their wallet.

5. Music: Finally, this one should have been number one. The type of music you play has to appeal to the masses. If you are playing some Gangster ish like F**k the Police by NWA, I guarantee people are gonna walk passed your show quickly without looking. Also the local committee or whatever those people are called will come over and ask you to turn down your music. Play some Gangnam Style, or Happy by Pharrell… Watch the swarms of tourists run over to watch, and throw money at you. You will even have the police smiling and watching, as long as you aren’t blocking foot traffic. The only downside is, a musician can only sell out for so long before they reach breaking point. If you are a classical sax player, and forced to play Justin Bieber – Baby, 5 hours a day; you’re gonna end up committing suicide.