The realistic life of an artist (Being paid for shows, idiot promoters)

So as my followers know, and my non-followers don’t know, I am just fully about this entertainment life. From dancer, to musician, to singer, to comedian, to blogger, to you name it, I do it. The best thing about it is that I get to do what I love doing, and surprisingly people come back week after week just to see what it is I’m doing. See now that makes zero sense to me because I always get the feeling that anybody can do this, yet I receive comments everyday saying things like “You’re so funny”, and “Your music is amazing”. Don’t get me wrong I don’t want to come across as arrogant, I also receive comments saying “F**k you dumbass monkey n***er, you’re not funny, and your music sucks”. People sure are crazy. So I’m gonna give you a little insight into the realistic life of an artist, and for those of you who feel like you already know how our lives play out, here’s a random disclaimer…

Now lets begin.

Depending on which form of art you choose, you will get a variety of different reactions from people. Tell somebody you’re a singer, they will probably brush it off with a “That’s nice…” as if they are subconsciously telling you, “I ain’t buying your music!” However, if you open a conversation by telling somebody you’re a comedian, 90% of the time they are gonna ask you to tell them a joke. In which I respond, “Show me the joke money.” As an artist in general, we lead frustrating lives. So my music is on Youtube, and Soundcloud, along with my email address. If you’re a company that does events, I’m really not so difficult to contact. The most frustrating thing about being an artist, is the dumbass offers we get. “Hi Tyrael, I love your music, would you like to perform at xyz event next week?” I’m thinking great, finally my 15 years of writing lyrics, working on my voice, learning to produce music and compose, is finally paying off. “Sure thing, my current rate ranges between £150 and £400 depending on how many people are attending”, this is where sh*t gets f**ked. “Oh well we won’t be able to pay you, but if you perform, it’s good promotion for you.” Get the hell out of here, so if you work at subway, and you make sandwiches for a living, and I want you to make a sandwich in your SPARE time. Next thing im trying to pay you in promotion… Are you really going to take it? What kind of bulls**t is this?

Another perfect example of how dumb this is; a plumber comes out to fix your sink, “That will be £80”, then you reply “Oh well I won’t be able to pay you, but think of it as practice, and I will tell all of my friends how good you are.” Artists, if you are performing for free, stop that s**t, I have performed at enough free venues to tell you that, it gets you nowhere. If you’re willing to work for free, then record yourself and put it on Youtube, or Soundcloud. After a year, you will probably have been seen by 200 people. Isn’t that better than making some other clown money by performing and receiving nothing?

Life as an artist ain’t all bad though, if you are making a couple of dollars here and there, technically, you are being paid for your work. This makes you a professional! Now telling a girl at a bar you’re a professional music producer, or professional blogger, sounds a lot better than Underground rapper. Throw the word professional in front of whatever it is you do, you are gonna get all the chicas, believe me. My boy earns a few hundred from Google Ads a month, not enough to live on, but when he approaches the ladies he doesn’t tell them that. The only line he uses, “Hi, I work for Google...” guaranteed my friend, guaranteed!

The life of an artist is tough, but we have a couple of perks here and there, being independent feels great though. Most artists aren’t eating solely off their work, but at least they still have that chance available, even if it is a 1% chance. Beats not doing anything other than work a 9-5 and having a 0% chance. Finally, the best part about being an artist, when you are actually great at your craft, forget the fans, you get to meet other artists who are amazing, who you otherwise wouldn’t have ever met. My network of dope artists is crazy, I mean we all pretty much broke, but the talent is wild. And if all else fails, you have to remember, a slice of toast, is just a burned piece of bread!

Money Makers Online and Making a living (Myths Busted)! Roulette, Youtube and Ebay

If you have met me before, you will know that I constantly come up with all of these phenomenal ideas; that if executed correctly, could make everybody involved millionaires. Not to toot my own horn or anything. Just this morning, it hit me... Yet another idea on how to make some money online, if you've ever seen Only Fools and Horses, I'm pretty much Del Boy. If you havn't seen it, what are you doing with your life.

Anyways, I'm sure you didn't come to this page to listen to me go on and on about how great I am, so I'll just give you some tips right now on definite money makers online. You ready? Ok, let's do this.

1. The Epic Roulette Hack

So when I was in University, I discovered a fool proof formula to win at roulette. Guaranteed to win every time. Now in theory, it was brilliant, let me explain it and try to find a flaw in the logic. Bet £1 on red, if it comes up red, you just doubled your money. If it comes up black, your next move will be to bet £2 on red, followed by £4 on red, and continue to double your bet until it comes up red, and you make all of your money back plus the original £1. 

Can you guess what the problem is? and the reason I had to give this trick up quickly? Well my curious friend, if you square your initial bet of £1, 20 times (If it comes up black 20 times in a row), the next bet you have to put in will be over £500,000. Go ahead, do the maths yourself. I discovered this the hard way, when I bet £62 on red because black came up 7 times in a row. For sure red was gonna come up eventually, but come on man, you really expect me to gamble my entire student loan, with hopes of becoming £1 in profit. That's a madness. Anyways, try it for yourself sometime, the adrenaline rush is unreal.

2. Make money real quick on Youtube

Making money quickly by starting a Youtube channel. So many people I know have tried this, and you can tell they have tried this because they always have a look of defeat on their face. I've been running my Youtube channel for over 3 years, more like 5 to be honest since I had a Youtube channel before this one. To begin with, you're gonna suck, that's that. Everybody sucks when they start, you won't realize you suck, but trust me, you will suck. When I see my early videos, I feel the need to take them down, but they are still racking me views so meh... A view is a view.

So the reason why people expect one thing with Youtube, then end up getting a completely different experience, is because they don't stick to it. It's kind of off putting when you are spending 4 hours on a video, uploading, and getting 2 views. Believe me, I was there at one point. If you are trying to make a quick buck, never gonna happen. Try 5 years for a few lousy pounds a month.

3. Selling on Ebay

So I tried this one a while ago, it seems legit to be honest, you buy items cheap, sell em for higher. But what about those times you accidentally over value something, because you feel like you could get a better deal on it. You end up paying a few hundred for something, and nobody wants that sh*t. You just got scammed friend. Ok, this one isn't too bad, you can definitely make a living off of this, but it's a lot of work, effort, and storage. Also, you have to be willing to flop a few times. I mean, don't spend all of your life savings on one product thinking it's gonna make you rich. Only to find out, nobody wants that crap, that was last years model... Unlucky.

To be honest, the problem with making money online, or making a living based on your own hard work; most people give up when they don't see immediate results. But then, why would you stick to something if it isn't going anywhere, it really is a waste of time. You could be working for Walmart and making $10 an hour, it doesn't sound like much, but it beats working hard for $0 an hour, or -$10 an hour.

If you take it serious, give it a year or learning, practice, and letting it build, you will definitely be making money, but you have to be in it for the long haul. Too many people give up when they see no results. With my Youtube channel for example, I wernt seeing any results, so what did I do to counter this? I tried a different method, eventually after around the millionth method, I finally nailed it.

That's what you gotta do, get nailing my dargs.

How much can you make busking? (The Secrets to Street Performing as a living)

So today I was just looking through the messages in my dance crew’s group chat; and I couldn’t help but notice while I was eaves dropping that a little debate broke out. “Bro, we aren’t making as much money as before, we have too many rules”, followed by “No, you aren’t listening to what I said, that’s why we aren’t making money.” Anyways, as usual, Tyrael had the answers to all their problems, and for those of you who believe Tyrael doesn’t hold the key, here’s a random disclaimer…

Now let’s begin.

Ok, so after busking for the past 8 months, possibly longer with my own crew, I have come to a few conclusions. If you want to make a living from this, you best make sure your group is on point, and are communicating well. One of my friends from a different crew told me his crew make around £100 each a night. Now I don’t know how many hours they busk for a night, and I havn’t seen their routine, but he told me it isn’t to do with their dancing, it was mostly the way they communicate, and the songs they played. My crew on the other hand, when we first started, I remember making around £30 each a day, for 2 hours work. Yer, that sounds pretty nice right, but we were there at peak times, and peak times only last around 2 hours a day, so it was aiiiggghtttt!

Recently, I havn’t been busking too much due to an injury. Now I am hearing through the grapevine that my crew are making quite a bit less than before. This doesn’t make sense to me, surely you should improve and make more money, but after busking once again, I noticed that we weren’t following the same formula as before. We had a lot of people in our crew, some were focused on making money, and others focused on just having fun. Unfortunately, that was the downfall; you need to all be on the same page. Finding the right balance is key, here is a list of tactics that I have noticed to be pretty useful along the way.

1. Communication: This is number one, because it is the top secret as to how to make plenty of money while busking. You could be the most amazing dancer, or musician, if you can’t communicate with the audience, why do they want to give their money to just another dance crew or musician. They don’t give a f**k about you, they just got a free show #winning. HOWEVER, If you directly interact with somebody watching, and you make them smile or laugh, 90% of the time, they will feel bad walking away without giving you anything. So use that little method, to trick your entire audience into feeling like you’re their friend. Sure, it seems fake, but only because people don’t usually interact in day to day life.

2. Support each other: So this sounds pretty much elementary, but I’ll tell you, in the past 2 months, we had a shift in the way we interact with each other, and it has been our downfall. To all of my dancers out there, if somebody in your crew messes up, what the f**k are you doing laughing, and shouting “CRASH, CRASH, CRASH”. Sure, it doesn’t look professional if they mess up, but it looks 10x worse if the people who are supposed to be your brothers are laughing at it, and making it bigger than it is. Trust me, it’s happened while I was busking, somebody crashed, and next dudes were shouting “Crash”. Well… There goes another £10. Nobody wants to support you if you are making somebody else feel bad, ever heard of empathy?

3. Practice: If you are going for routines, or if you are a musician, you need to make sure your s**t is on point. How are you gonna step foot into Trafalgar Square, start playing a saxophone, and get every note wrong? That’s self explanatory, you aint making enough for a bus home. Alternatively, if you step into Bond Street (That’s where my people busk, Fridays at 8pm, come check us out), and a routine is sloppy, and out of time… Just don’t do the routine. Simple as that, you are hurting your own performance, stick to something simple that everybody can master, not something crazy that some will master and others will flop.

4. Bad Language/hurtful Jokes: Everybody loves a good hurtful joke… BUT, we only like them in the comfort of their own home, among our own friends. Not a bunch of dudes in the street, who you have never seen before. One of the boys I dance with is on the chubby side, so when communicating with the audience, they would joke with the audience about him being fat. This dude even started hiding in the back so he wouldn’t get picked on, but, like clockwork he still got called out. Until a single brave soul stepped up and told them to stop that… That brave soul… Was I *Puts shades on, walks away into the sunset*. Ok I’m back, the audience can see with their own eyes that there was a problem in that scenario, so obviously nobody found it funny, just awkward. Don’t make the audience feel awkward if you want their wallet.

5. Music: Finally, this one should have been number one. The type of music you play has to appeal to the masses. If you are playing some Gangster ish like F**k the Police by NWA, I guarantee people are gonna walk passed your show quickly without looking. Also the local committee or whatever those people are called will come over and ask you to turn down your music. Play some Gangnam Style, or Happy by Pharrell… Watch the swarms of tourists run over to watch, and throw money at you. You will even have the police smiling and watching, as long as you aren’t blocking foot traffic. The only downside is, a musician can only sell out for so long before they reach breaking point. If you are a classical sax player, and forced to play Justin Bieber – Baby, 5 hours a day; you’re gonna end up committing suicide.

Tips for Pulling an all nighter (Making that money while listening to the Final Fantasy 6 OST)

So it’s 5 in the morning, birds are chirpsing, the sun is rising, and I’m just getting into my nice warm bed after working all night. Sounds like a productive nights work right? Well you’re wrong. 5 minutes after getting into my bed, my phone starts going crazy, *Buzz Buzz Buzz* continuously. “Who the hell is this, texting me at 5.46 in the morning” I thought to myself. One of my colleagues had a great idea, “Tyrael, wake up, let’s finish off all of the work now, it might be gone when we wake up.” Brilliant idea, YOLO right?

So anyways, now I’m here at 6 in the morning with a glass of orange juice, bedroom fully lit up, listening to the Final Fantasy 6 OST on Youtube while working. I’m guessing, by the time the music stops playing, I would have done 3 hours of work. My theory is… The playlist on Youtube is around 3 hours, so boom, lay back and enjoy. It could be worse I guess… I could be a door to door salesman, I almost took that job back when I was unemployed. Going door to door trying to sell somebody elses product for a commission. I have never seen the point in that, I just figured I might as well make my own product and go door to door selling, why the hell am I working for somebody else with no salary, that’s called slavery.

Anyways, the best advice I can give for pulling an all nighter; fill up the room with as many snacks as humanly possible. You will put on a few pounds, but it is definitely worth it, gotta make that mula. Second tip, find your favourite movie, or video game, and just search for the sound track. It’s like having all of the joy of watching a movie, or playing a video game, but without having to think as much. After all, you know what they say, it takes a whole village, to raise a child.

Hard work pays off (Getting the job done vs Lazy Ass Ninjas) Blogs and Youtube

So earlier this week, I just happened to be chilling at a bar with one of my boys after training. A couple of Jyaygerbombs, a couple of beers, not the coolest ish I’ve ever done, but this story ain’t supposed to be cool; it’s supposed to motivate. Anyways, we were drinking it up, when he turns to me and says some sh*t like “Tyrael, f**k my life, your life is so much better than mine!” Wtf, one minute we drinking, talking about moving to the two eastern European looking chicas in the corner, next thing he’s talking to me about life. This dude’s lost it. “Real talk cuz, your just a lucky dude, you got a good job, your Youtube channel is popping off, and your working with some decent names in the music scene now.” This guy is nuts, and he got me thinking about how many excuses people make instead of just working hard. For those of you who do work hard and still have a crappy life, here’s a random disclaimer…

Now let’s begin…

Aight, so when people talk about how lucky I am, and they wish they could do what I’ve done, it pisses me off. You’re reading this post right now, as I’m writing this my blog has hardly any views, I started it this month, hasn’t even been picked up by Google yet, so I’m getting dead views. Half the people who just read that will be saying to themselves, “what a waste of time, that ain’t getting you nowhere, why don’t you just stop.” These people I like to refer to as… Haters! I got those exact same lines when I first started uploading videos on Youtube, “Why don’t you get a real job, it’s a waste of time.” Fam, why does it concern you? If I was at home playing Call of Duty everyday, you wouldn’t have sh*t to say.

The first 2 years sure I made plenty of mistakes, but 2 years after that, I’m getting almost 1000 views and 10 subscribers a day to my Youtube channel. Ok my bank aint saying sh*t but that’s minor, I’m building an empire here, you’re either with me or against me. Ok, so when people say hard work pays off, that ish is for real. How can you get anywhere, when you give up because you see no results. That’s some dumbness, like 2 views a day isn’t enough for you, you want to start off with 1000 views a day. Mate, write 500 posts, put them all up in one day, if you getting 2 views per post a day, that’s 1000 views… You’re welcome. The joke thing is, I swear everybody knows this, but they refuse to believe it. If I said to you, “I’ll give you a million dollars, if you start a blog, and reach 100 views by the end of the month.” You will be like, “shiiieeeeet is that all?” So why can’t these people see that they already know the formula, oh yer, because they keep leaving out the most important part of the equation, that they some Lazy ass ninjas! Happy blogging guys :D

Bunji Garlin Representing Soca music, the happiest music on Earth (Good Vibes, Love Carnival) Soaka Special

So I ain’t gonna lie, I am probably the most biased person since I have Trini and Jamaican blood running through my veins. But I feel like somebody needs to put this out there, you just can’t not smile and have a good time when you allow Soca to take over. Carnival time in London is magical, you can be the most pessimistic person, but the moment you hear that Soca banging in your ear drums, something forces your body to dance. Your body simply can’t contain all of the good vibes, and has to burn it off. Just Google Police dancing at… That’s all you need to type, and the next words to come up will be Carnival. Nothing but love.

Personally, I feel like if we are gonna conquer terrorism, and war on Earth, we just need to make everyday carnival, in every City, of every country in the world. I’m sure terrorists and criminals dance too. I grew up on Soca music myself, but that doesn’t take from how much joy it spreads. I’ve never seen White people, black people, Asians, and the police all get down together in one place and just dance like nobody was watching, except at Carnival. If you havn’t been, ignore the rumors, it will be the happiest time of your life. Bunji Garlin although he’s been around since I can remember, he is a pioneer of this new school Soaka style. I don’t want to scare you away with traditional Soca, although it’s amazing. Bunji Garlin is bringing our humble music to the mainstream, and to be honest, I am proud of him. Keep up the good work holmes. Everybody else, keep a smile on your face, and meet me at Carnival this year, only 8 months to go until Nottinghill Carnival, jeeez.

Has Rap Music lost its soul? Hip Hop is Dead? The Lil Wayne vs Biggie debate

So I’m a long time advocate of Hip Hop and Rap music. Since 2005 I have seen article after article about how “Hip Hop is Dead!” There is no explanation; there are no comparisons other than names of artists. To be honest, my opinion is… Stop living in the past. I grew up in the 90’s, there were lots of artists before I got into Hip Hop who I hadn’t heard of, I did my research and listened to the greats of each era. Now I’ll lose so much “street cred” for this type of post, but realistically, street cred ain’t paying no bills. Respect ain’t replacing my 9-5. I have 2 mixtapes out, my last mixtape reached over 1000 free downloads, yet only 40 sales. That mixtape was Hip Hop and earned me plenty of stripes in the Rap and Bboy community (2 of the fundamental areas of Hip Hop). But did any of these dudes pay for my sh*t? Nope, mostly white kids from European countries (not UK). If I rapped over a couple of House beats, I would have probably sold 400 mixtapes, ballin. Before we begin, there might be a lot of points you disagree with, so here's a random disclaimer...

The Jolly Consumer

Here’s the thing, the problem with the state of Hip Hop isn’t down to the artists, it’s the consumer. Think about it, you spend 15 years of your life doing something that earns you respect, but isn’t paying the bills. These same people who aren’t buying your album then have the audacity to turn around and call you a sell-out when a different demographic want to hit you up with some cash for shows, and albums. Ching Ching, c’mon bro, you would do the same sh*t. So what if I have to compromise my art, and change it up slightly to fit the appeal of this new audience. If you were a plumber, plumbing for free for 15 years in the same neighborhood; then some dude comes along from another neighborhood and tells you “mate, come and work for me, you have to change the way you dress, but you will get paid nicely!” Are you really gonna be like, “hell nah, I’m just trying to keep it real, my children and girlfriend will be fine, they street.” Yer f**k that, show me the money holmes!

Hip Hop today, isn’t so bad

So all of you “Hip Hop” heads should be ashamed of yourself for even considering what’s in the charts Hip Hop. Sure the media refer to it as Hip Hop, but they don’t know any better. Why would you be butthurt over what some large corporations are calling it. If you are gonna cry about that, then Hip Hop should be crying over you glamorizing Rap music as the only element of Hip Hop. I’m a bboy myself, and in my opinion, the bboy community has grown in a positive way. Bboy is 1 fifth of what Hip Hop is, just like how rap music is only 1 fifth of Hip Hop. There are 5 elements of Hip Hop, but I don’t feel like educating you on that right now. I find it funny how these Rap fans are crying over real Hip Hop being overlooked by the masses, but they will quickly overlook every other element of Hip Hop. Slap yourself, the world doesn’t revolve around your definitions of what Hip Hop is. The fact is Hip Hop in the mainstream now is this party music that you have grown to detest. But answer me this, do you remember Hip Hop from the 80’s? It was funky, people would dance to it, the lyrics weren’t too deep, it was a get up and dance type vibe. Of course you had some artists who would cover important topics, but in general, people listened to Hip Hop, and danced Hip Hop to have a good time.

Do yourself a favor, find out where the next bboy jam is in your area, click attending on Facebook and go check out some real Hip Hop. You will quickly see how hot the community is right now. Get out of your little bubble, you’re one of the reasons why Hip Hop is seen as dead (your words not mine). Because you ain’t trying to show homage to Hip Hop, you’re upset that your old school rapping ass ain’t making no money from a mainstream medium that wants pop music, not Hip Hop. Hip Hop is bigger than it has ever been, you will find communities anywhere in the world, there are probably some Martians bumping Wu Tang on a spaceship somewhere.

Lil Wayne isn’t the worst rapper alive

We ain’t getting the mainstream back, and let’s be honest now; in the 90’s we only really mention the Hip Hop artists that we remember for being great. You mean to tell me in a 10 year period, you can name around 30 rappers who changed the game? There were plenty more rappers who at the time were brushed off as clowns, or killing the culture. But history never tells the story of the losers, only winners. Who remembers the big money makers from the late 80’s early 90’s like MC Hammer, Vanilla Ice, Tone Loc, PM Dawn? Oh all of a sudden that doesn’t count as Hip Hop right? Exactly what is going on now, went on then, you had rappers who were making money from Hip Hop who weren’t even doing Hip Hop.

Ok finally, if you want to brush aside today’s Hip Hop music as being all about Money, Cars and Bitches… The entire Bad Boy persona was about that. Loon, Lil Cease, Mase, Lil Kim, sorry to say it, but even your boy Biggie. “The back of the club macking the hoes that’s where you’ll find me”, so if this line is a metaphor for some real deep ish, please share it with me. Straight off of the most viewed Biggie track on Youtube. His lyrics are filled with these types of lyrics, although he also created masterpieces, nobody could ever take that away from him. I don’t mind if you have an opinion, just like I don't care if you disagree with mine, and here it is… You are all afraid to move on, you heard Lollipop by Lil Wayne, and Best I Ever had by Drake and dismissed every mixtape, album and feature that anybody in Hip Hop today had to offer. You will never come across a Hip Hop artist you like again because you refuse to give them an actual chance. To be honest, you don’t know what you’re missing, there are too many hot rappers nowadays to even list, but as for the ones who are recognized worldwide, we have Kendrick Lamar, J Cole, Pretty much the whole Odd Future clique, Ab Soul & Chance the Rapper just to name a few. I challenge you to search up any of those artists and hold back from bumping your head to it.

Anyways, long ass post, much love and respect for everybody who made Hip Hop great, rappers, bboys, graffiti artists, DJ’s alike. If you disagree with anything I said in this post, unlucky, go write your own post, it will probably get more views than your mixtape anyway… It worked for me! Always remember, if you want his old s**t, buy his old album.

Social Media vs Privacy! David Cameron to Ban Facebook & Whatsapp in UK. Social Media gone for good?

So first of all, I just want it to go on record that my opinion of David Cameron is…. He is a clown. For those of you who have no idea what all of this is about, the leader of this fair city has decided that if he and the conservative party are re-elected, they will pass laws that allow the government to read encrypted communications in extreme circumstances. So if they suspect a terror threat is at play, conservative party to the rescue, via Facebook message intercepting. In other words, Facebook better comply with these dumbass demands, or they will be shutting it down in the UK. And for anybody who is for this dumbass law, here’s a random disclaimer….

Now let me explain to you why Dave is a dumbass…

Al Qaeda is a terrorist group that want to spread fear into our communities, and strip us of our freedom of speech. So what does good old Dave do? You guessed it, “F**k letting Al Qaeda take my people’s freedom of speech away from them, I’ll take it away myself”. Yer that ought to teach them a lesson right Dave? The main beef I have with this law is that even if it passes, what do you think will be the first thing me, and millions of others will do? You guessed it, “Google… How to log into Facebook?” and search. Within 60 seconds, I will be connected to Facebook via a proxy, badaboom! Now unless I, Tyrael Sterling am just a mastermind when it comes to getting what I want, and completely outsmart the WHOLE of Al Qaeda, they will also be connected to Facebook and Whatsapp within 30 seconds. So what did you really accomplish Dave? You just pissed off a whole bunch of your people, that’s all. By the end of the first week, the whole UK will be connected to Facebook via a Proxy, and most likely download a different App identical to Whatsapp. You simply inconvenienced us, and the terrorist groups by a few seconds, bravo conservatives, bravo.

Whenever I talk about the government, or political affairs, I instantly feel “Are our leaders stupid? What is their damn IQ?” I actually have no idea, my IQ is 136 which is above average, sadly a couple of points off of Mensa material, but meh. I usually keep those thoughts to myself though because let’s face it, that is a pretty conceited thing to actually believe. But time after time, I feel like my theory is proven correct, that I am smarter than them, especially when you’ve got Dave here trying to destroy social media.

I’m no expert, or maybe I am missing something here, but don’t half of the businesses in the UK flourish because of social media? Facebook, Blogspot, Youtube, Twitter… If you stop us from using these sites, sadly a lot of businesses in the UK will fail, which means less people in work. Less people in work means less people paying taxes. Less people paying taxes means, less tax funded military exercises. Less money going into welfare, healthcare, schools and of course our government’s favorite asset, the military. Somebody needs to explain that to these idiots because I actually can’t see any benefit of removing Facebook, Whatsapp or any other encrypted services from the public. It’s not like Al Qaeda have a private Facebook group and fan page called Al Qaeda. Could you imagine, “Hey Guys, should we blewed up stupid Kings Cross today? Lol” says terrorist 1. “lmao not today brother, I have to pick up my children from school, anyways, gtg xx” replies terrorist 2. No way, you can sit and monitor everyone in the UK, you won’t find anything, because a criminal won’t type it out in a message and leave a paper trail. They will find a meeting spot and… You know what, I can’t even be bothered. This is the dumbest law to ever set foot in this country, other laws are looking at this law like “how the f**k did you get in homie?” 

Anyways, that’s just my opinion of this whole little situation, perhaps I’m wrong. But you know what they say, Da-me los cables puente de batería, los pollos se han escapades! Which means: Hand me the jump leads, the chickens have escaped.

Approaching girls in big groups (Confidence Boost) tricks and advice!

If you have read my previous posts on approaching girls in person, or approaching women at a bar, you will know I am a genius when it comes to this stuff. Ok, maybe not a genius, but I get the job done, and I’m here to help you. Again, I have said it in another post, stay away from telling a girl you are an artist or writer when talking to them. Only 15 year olds will go for them lines, and I don’t want you to end up in jail because of me. If you remember me saying this, well when it comes to approaching girls in big groups, the entire game has changed. Forget everything I have ever told you, its useless in this scenario, anything goes. For those of you who don't want to forget though, here's a random disclaimer...

Now let's begin...

First off, girls in big groups are a lot less serious, they have a lot more confidence when talking to strangers, they will even speak to the creepiest of guys, its crazy. I challenge you to dress up like Freddy Krueger, and talk to a group of girls. It’s no longer creepy, it’s an ice breaker. Ok so since you probably don’t have a Freddy Krueger outfit at your disposal in the blink of an eye, here is how to approach this group. And a minor disclaimer, this is A LOT easier if you have a wing man. The plan is to approach these women, and do you remember the line I taught you in the previous post? If you havn’t read that post yet I don’t even know what you’re doing here to be honest, but it’s cool I forgive you, I will repeat the line…. “Excuse me ladies, can I ask you guys a real random question?” Alternatively if you are with a friend a better line to use would be “Excuse me ladies, can you settle a debate I’m having with my buddy here?” You are pretty much guaranteed a response. The only time it’s not guaranteed is if you follow them down a dark ally, or drive up beside them and drag them into a car… These are definitely nono’s.

Ok so you have got them intrigued now, “what could this million dollar question be” they think to themselves? Throw them the most random sh*t you can think of. “Who do you prefer, Malcolm X, or Malcolm in the Middle?” Now you have them in the palm of your hand, create an entire conversation around whatever question it was you asked. So if you were to ask “Does a spoon full of sugar REALLY help the medicine go down?” Chances are there will not be a unanimous answer, in which case you side with the minority, and give them high fives. Debate begun, enjoy! If by some fluke they unanimously unite, and give the same response. It’s your job to make them think, “Ok but if it does help the medicine go down like you say… then how come….” And you get the jist of it, I refuse to give you all of my knowledge in one post.

These are a few tips, hopefully they helped, if they didn’t, you’re not using them correctly. Even a mute could pull this off. Have fun with it, and remember… Super villains are people too!

Approaching a woman at a bar or club (Dealing with Rejection)

Good evening or morning guys, today I am going to give you all the answers for approaching that hotty at the bar. We have all played it out in our heads, what we would do and say. But in reality, the music is too loud, or she just isn’t interested, or she’s actually a man with long hair (That’s never happened to me though, let’s not jump to conclusions.) Most blogs will give you the generic list of be confident, dress well, make eye contact and come across as a strong man. Well I’m gonna show you how to pick up that hotty without being confident, dressing well or making eye contact. If you still feel this is impossible after reading my last blog post, here’s a random disclaimer…

Now let’s begin…                           

First of all, arrive to the bar late, NEVER on time, here’s why. If you arrive to a bar or club on time, you have to deal with the awkward moments where there are only a few people at the bar. Now if you are ballin, you can just wait by the bar for the girl you like to arrive and just splurt out “I’m about to get me a shot, and you’re standing next to me, so what shot are you having?” But if you’re not balling, you don’t want to compete with them guys, when you’re more advanced at this then sure, head straight into battle they won’t stand a chance.

So here is the fool-proof strategy to getting that pretty young thang. Arrive later, by this time the hot women at the bar have already been spoken to by tons of guys more than once. So when they see you for the first time 3 hours later, they will be thinking “oooo, fresh meat”. I dunno, maybe its just the venues I go to, but this usually works. You wait till the end of the night, this is when you can go over and ask her “Hey, why are you chilling by yourself”. Because they have already seen you, and you didn’t approach her earlier with the other thirsty guys, you have already earned some points, she’s all yours bro.

The best thing to do when you are trying to kill those 3 hours inside the bar, is make it seem like you are having the most fun in there with your boys, or whoever you came with. Even if these are a bunch of guys you hired to pretend to be your friends for the night, you make sure all of you look like you are having a great time. Nobody wants to be left out of the party, so you will have pairs of girls that came alone looking to get in with you guys. Works every time. One time me and a group of my friends decided to have a dance battle. It got messy, it got silly, in fact it got pretty amazing because we are all semi-pro breakdancers, but even our non breaker friends were involved. Once it ended, an overwhelming sense of “Any lady in here is mine” came over me. Now obviously you probably aren’t a breaker, but it wasn’t the fact that we were dancers, it’s the fact that we were having a good time, and others wanted to join.

Enjoy yourself, and others will want to be a part of your fun. When you see somebody so care free and enjoying life, you may envy them, but you also want to learn their secrets. Same sh*t different toilet amigo. So have fun with these, and remember… Chocolate is the devils toothpaste!

Part 3 coming tomorrow.

Approaching a woman in person (The big city – London Town Special)

So first off, leave all of the artsy type lines at home, they will get you nowhere. Unless you’re trying to pick up a 15 year old, telling them you’re an underground rapper, or an aspiring writer will get you nowhere. So let’s start with a blank canvas, everything you have ever known to be true about picking up girls, forget that ish, I’m gonna give you some real ish. And if you don’t believe that this ish is for real, here’s a random disclaimer…

Now let’s begin…

You are probably wondering who the hell I am, well my friend, I am black writing on a white canvas, bow before me! In reality I’m just an aspiring artist who has also had quite a lot of success in the realm of dating, (If only I could monetize that.) Anyways, you didn’t come here to read about me, who cares who I am, lets get into the approach shall we.

With practice comes perfection, and with perfection comes all of the chicas you can dream of. The aim of the game is to distract her from the get go, don’t let her realize you are making your move until it is too late, she’s already fallen for your amazing personality. How do you do this you ask? Conversation of course. The first thing you need to do is identify your surroundings; lets say you see a hotty at the bus stop, its completely normal for somebody to ask “Excuse me, have you been waiting long?” BOOM step one complete, she will answer you, unless she doesn’t take the bait, in which case she has probably read this blog. No worries though, for the remainder of this blog I will type every word backwards, get your mirrors ready. In fact I will just tell you how to counter her non bait taking…. It’s simple, fire another question at her, fire on all cylinders, “Do you know how long it will take to get to…” or “Did you know the Tiberian dung beetle can travel at 70mph during mating season”, all you need is that first response.

Anyways, once she responds to you with an actual sentence, that’s when you go in for the kill and say “Actually, do you mind if I just ask you a really important question, it’s of the utmost importance really?” She will be curious, and very likely say sure; she’s thinking, a random question beats listening to the same 5 songs on my ipod for the next 20 minutes. Now is your chance to wow her with the most random question you could possibly think of, I usually go for “Do you prefer Tomatoes or Cucumber?” She will either giggle, or keep a straight face and answer your question. Now its time for your finisher, “Sorry I was being silly, I just wanted to talk to you, hi my name is Tyrael!” Go in for the hand shake, guaranteed. Take it from here guys, and remember… A woodpecker without a pecker, is just a block of wood!

Part 2 coming tomorrow - Approaching a woman at a bar!

The best years of your life! Was School REALLY that great?

So we’ve all heard it; you should value your days at school and college, they are the best years of your life. Everybody who has graduated from school or college has thought this at one point in their life. In hindsight I would agree briefly, then carry on with my day to day life, never dwelling on it too much. But how about we dwell on it for a second! Any time of our lives seem better than it really was in hindsight. I remember coming back from Jamaica thinking “That was the best holiday ever!” because my memory covered up all of the long journeys, the evenings where there was nobody to jam with, and the hours just sitting on the beach bored. Instead it only replays the parts where I was drinking tons with the cool Canadian dudes at the bar, hitting the clubs and meeting hot women. So what I’m saying is this… Was school REALLY as great as we think it was? For those of you who disagree with this post, here’s a random disclaimer…

Now let’s begin…                                        

I remember the classroom, an hour and a half trying my hardest to stay awake in a subject I didn’t care about. To this day I don’t know wtf PSHE stands for, and I did that crap for 3 years. Geography and History was actually a madness. Geography, I don’t remember you once teaching me anything about where cities are located, or the capitals of any countries. For real, I honestly don’t remember being taught any of that stuff. In fact I literally just Googled the GCSE Syllabus just to confirm this, and yep, I was never taught Sustainability, Migration and Urban Environments. History, all I remember was a black board covered in words written in chalk, and Mr Ramey ordering us to copy it into our books for an hour and a half, in silence. I imagine prison is more fun.

Sure, sure, sure! You can argue that work is the same, 8 hours of pointlessness, which I completely agree with… But you’re getting paid. I’m getting paid to input pieces of paper into the computer, print them off, and re-file them. I don’t see how this helps your business, but whatever; you’re paying me to do this, so “It helps your business.” If I didn’t go school from the age of 4, and started working on a farm or some ish earning even £2 an hour, I’ll be making around £12 a day. After 15 years of doing that, subtracting school holidays, I’ve mad around £27k. I would be a teenager, so mummy and daddy are paying bills, food, travel and costs of cloths. That is 100% profit, im getting a deposit on a house at 18 years old, balling. Instead I’m £21k in debt, (University is the key to financial independence).

Finally, we’re forgetting the social aspect of schools. School isn’t like work. Being bullied at work is like, “Dammit, Steve took my stapler off my desk again, this is unacceptable”. Bullying at school is being afraid to walk down corridors, strategically placing yourself next to the nearest teacher at assembly, wandering the playground alone at lunch or worse, hiding from kids that want to rob you or beat you up. Yer… Adults, the working environment is SO tough. I remember walking home from school and being challenged to fights at least twice a week, by boys from other schools. Of course we would always win, our school was the best heh!

To be honest, working sucks, getting no respect from your boss, or putting up with annoying colleagues sometimes can be frustrating. But compare that to school life, working life is a paradise, and this is coming from a kid who didn’t get bullied at school. I guess its not all bad, there were a lot of fun moments, but the majority of the time there was a vibe that screamed “Watch what you do or say, don’t do or say anything out of the ordinary.” For me, that’s difficult, now I’m older, I say what I want and do what I want. Anybody who judges me negatively will never experience the joy I experience in anything I do. That was a lovely way to end a blog if I do say so myself, and always remember…. A splinter to a Giant, is a giant toothpick!

Fitness & Hardcore training: Can anyone Breakdance – The bboy Life

I went to Stratford Center to train today with some members of my crew, and a new crew that I busk with. When we arrived, we were greeted by our arch nemesis crew, Gully Squad *Queue Lightning*. Actually these kids are the coolest, they are like 5x our level, and always down to give us advice and just crack jokes with. So I was given the task to train up a girl, she was brand new, fresh out of the box. She wanted to learn to break, so we began. For those of you who feel like learning breaking is easy, here’s a random disclaimer…

Now let’s begin…

So many questions she had, but she was so enthusiastic, it made me remember the time I had just begun. So hungry to prove myself to the community, and learn some badass techniques. The joke thing was that after just a few months, I had enough to impress non bboys. If I look back at myself now, I just think “What was I thinking?” But nevertheless the general public would eat this ish up. Sort of like when you hear a pop song on the radio and think, who the hell is buying this trash.

Anyways, the girl I was teaching pointed at Gully Squad, and asked “How long until I am that level?” now if you type Gully Squad Bboy into Youtube, you will see them for yourself. Ok I am just gonna assume that you checked them, but if you didn’t imagine David Blaine meets a Helicopter Propeller, x2. This was her first lesson, but she asked again, around how many years would it take? This got me thinking about just how much time went into perfecting a move.

Math time! First time since school Maths has come in handy, I’m excited. I will talk about the first Powermove on the list of Powermoves to learn if you want to imitate a helicopter. The Windmill, I still havn’t perfected this, but the point im at now, I can do between 7 and 13 in a row, pretty good huh? Imagine I trained 3 times a week, and worked on windmills 2 hours out of those sessions, and I’m a Lazy bboy(That’s 6 hours a week). I’ve been breaking for 3 years, so 6x52(weeks in a year) multiplied by 3 years is 936 hours. Yep, my face was in shock mode after I did the maths in my head, that’s just one move. Ok that’s enough math, ima give you guys a concussion with all these numbers.

The thing is, when you enjoy something, you just continue. It felt a lot more like meeting friends, and just chilling while working on some super difficult bone breaking techniques. My advice to you, find the fun in whatever it is you’re doing, and you will stick to it. Take the outcome out of your mind, and focus on what you love about it in the here and now. Eventually you would have spent over 1000 hours of your life doing it without realizing. I wonder how many hours of your life you’ve spent on Facebook, or Playing computer games in the past year… Just a passing thought! Remember… A screaming Gorilla, is natures soundtrack!

Is the music industry shady? Getting signed, and Radio Plays

I actually can’t believe I titled this post “Is the music industry shady?” like to say nobody knows this already.  I’ve been trying to move my way into the industry for years now, and they just keep turning down my application. That was a metaphor for snaking me like little lizards. The joke thing is, even people who I know that are eating from the industry will straight up tell me “Bro, you have to do some next things if you want to get your foot in”. For those of you who feel like there is no shady ongoings within the industry, here’s a random disclaimer…

Now lets begin…
The reason why the industry is shady is because; let’s suppose I have just created the best song EVER…. Then what? What do I do next? I can copyright it and start sending it out to labels, or A&R’s or radio stations. Here is how f**ked it is, and I know people in this position. Popular artists that even you (the reader) know of, will sign these amazing artists, then shelf them. Give them a 3 year contract, and not allow them to release anything. But why would they do this you ask! I will tell you reader. These artists don’t want competition, simple as that. They don’t want anybody better than them putting out music because it will make them look bad.

So then we take the independent approach. Maybe if I have an amazing song, I could get some radio stations to play it lol. Oh for sure you can definitely get airplay, but to about 10 listeners. You think you’re gonna go up to BBC Radio and be like “Hey Mr BBC, check out this song, I promise you won’t be disappointed”. They get paid tens of thousands to play the latest music on loop, the huge record labels will break them off plenty little cuts. But lets say one of the DJs do decide to give you a shot and play your music. You have just ended your career, because these labels will step in. They will offer you a contract once you take it you have a 10% chance of releasing, but you are more than likely getting shelved. If you turn down the contract, you better believe your ass is getting capped. That don’t mean what you think it means, they basically blacklist you. “Hey XYZ Radio, there is a new artist out, here is 100k, don’t play any of his songs, deuces!” Well… That’s you taken care of!

Which leads us to online marketing and distribution. I can’t knock this, its pretty impossible for labels to monitor everything on the net, so this is our safest bet. Let the people push your music through word of mouth, not these labels through mass emails and paying off radio stations. I’ll probably get shot for this post, lucky for me, I’m just text on a screen, so you can shoot at me all day, you’ll just have to buy a new monitor.

That’s just a brief post about the industry, sorry for all of the down posts lately, I promise when I'm feeling up, I’ll do a post about how great the Earth is, fluffy clouds and rainbows. Remember… A terrorist in their homeland, is a war hero!

Here is a cute puppy for you guys, you will never become suicidal again!

Bboys vs Bashment: Breaking to Movado! Dancehall Kings and Queens

So sometimes I just sit in my room blasting break beats just imagining myself smoking some of the top breakers in the world (Morning of Owl). Today I was just sitting here casually going through my routine of banging my music loud, when out of nowhere an old Dancehall tune that I used to rinse out with the old Jamaican & Trini clique dropped. Wait, What? Now im imagining myself breaking to “Squeeze Her Breast” by Movado. The joke thing is, it actually worked. I had successfully fused the 2 genres, and I had to share it with the world. Many thoughts run through my head, so I went training and started trying to incorporate Dancehall to breakbeats. It would be easy I said to myself… Boy was I wrong! And for those of you who feel it would be easy, here’s a random disclaimer…

Now lets begin…    

   

Well, here I am today, an average level bboy, a slightly below average dancehall head, (my level increases exponentially after a few jyaygerbombs, you just gotta trust me on that one). But, if I find a way to incorporate them smoothly, boom, so long Morning of Owl, average bboys are gonna be picturing themselves smoking me while listening to breakbeats. And I wouldn’t want it any other way.

If you’re a bboy and want to test the theory for yourself, check out Aidonia featuring Mr Renzo“Bend ya Back”. Oh my days, Im slyly gassed to get my crew busking to this gem, I swear we could double our money from one show. Or maybe that’s just wishful thinking. But you know what they say, like a midget at a urinal, we’ll have to stay on our toes.

Dancehall girls

Bboy Pocket from Morning of Owl bboy crew

Make Money Blogging? Who really Blogs for the love?

First off, I call bullsh**t. The moment I hear top tips on how to get started blogging “First off, do it for the love of blogging, not the money”. Ok so If I gave you £1000 to blog about how John Smith is great… Somebody you have never heard of. You are gonna write the most convincing and tear jerking post you have ever written. The people telling you they started and continued for the love, or for the fans are just on some moral high horse. They might have started off as a nobleman who writes only to be heard, but the second they tasted the sweet taste of green mula, their thought process changed. For those of you who disagree with my reasoning, here’s a random disclaimer…

Now lets begin…

Me personally, I 100% started this because I enjoy writing. Of course that’s why I started, I ain’t getting paid for this. But if there wasn’t the possibility of making money, or having a career in this, the moment I got bored of blogging, and believe me that feeling will come once a week. I would be so ghost you’ll receive an e-vite to my funeral. (Ghost is slang for gone for the people who thought this just took a morbid turn.)

I don’t want you to think I’m only here for the money, and everybody is just doing this for the prospects of having a career, but be realistic. If I’ve got incentive to do something, I will stick to it a lot longer. Anybody who tells you it’s not for the money is lying to you, and trying to take you for an idiot. The facts are the more humble you pretend to be the more likable you are, the more likable you are the more views you get, the more views you get, money in the bank. I’m not here to lie to you, that’s not my style, I tell you what other bloggers are too fake to say. If a tree falls in a forest and nobody is around to hear it, does it make a sound? Show me £1000 and it made a sound, it made a child, it made whatever you wanted it to make my friend.

None of us are any better than this... I think you know what this lovely lady's profession it!

We all dream of it... Just turn those 1 dollar bills into hundreds!

Racism in London (Black people in the City) and Sexy Italian Ladies!

I’m going to play devil’s advocate here, my job doesn’t
really force me to have face to face meetings with my superiors, so maybe I’m
just not exposed to it. As a young black man living in London though, is there much
racism? Boy, I feel like non whites outnumber the whites in London, so is there
Racism I ask again? Yep, but it’s not that traditional White on Black nostalgic
racism that we’ve grown to love. It’s more of a, “We hate Europeans” type
racism. Not even European, anybody who wasn’t born in London. You can be born
in Birmingham, which is still in England, and only 2 hours away by train. The
moment they hear your accent though, “ergh, bloody foreigners”. Now I ain’t saying
that everybody in London is racist, but for those of you who are, here’s a
random disclaimer…







Now lets begin…



So the only reason I’m shedding light on this is the fact that I see this type
of thinking so much, and it pisses me off. These people from overseas come over
to work hard, earn their money, raise a family, maybe send some money back
home. As one of the strongest cities on the planet, I’m sure we’re not so petty
to believe we are entitled to every last resource this country has to offer.
Especially since this wonderful land enslaved half of the world, forced our
religion on them, raped their women, murdered their children and made the
number one spoken language in the world our native tongue.





What I hate the most is the way other communities work
together and build, yet all we do is bring each other down. They help each
other, give each other opportunities and so on. The Italian community in London
now is fat as F**k. I swear they are staging a preemptive attack, they must be.
But at the same time I love their food, and the women are hot, so go for it,
conquer this small European Island, maybe then we’ll learn to work together and
I can marry me a hot Italian Chica. Because lets face it… That’s all man has
ever really wanted. Sexy Italians!


I am in so many kinds of love right now!
Again... so many kinds of love!

Part Time artist, full time worker, hate my life!

I’m a flipping artist, I’m creative and I say some random ish from time to time. I have to box all of that up the moment I am in the work environment. Why? Because I am a representative of a faceless, heartless company. People aren’t stupid, no matter how many times a company says I’m a representative of McDonalds, or Nike Town or Footlocker, the people know I don’t represent them. So why do I have to be a fake me if I’m working for one of these self-esteem killing underpaid jobs? Makes no sense to me. I don't want you guys to think I'm just another ranter, so here's a random disclaimer...

Now lets begin...

I like to make music, but currently have no way of monetising that because sadly, the industry loves to work with average talents. Above average, you must be crazy. The annoying thing is when the public will say shit like “Well if you’re so good, why aren’t you signed”. I’m not signed because they don’t want to create an industry where good artists are at the forefront, because their other artists won’t be able to compete. Making the executives jobs harder. What, you don’t believe me? Go on Soundcloud or Bandcamp and just browse your favourite genre for an hour, only one hour. You will find at least one act who would take over the charts in an instant with the right label behind them. They don’t want to sign good artists because once the public hear a unique sounding artist, the record labels contact list will follow that artist even when they are no longer signed.

I’m also a dancer/bboy (Breakdancer). This is a little hobby of mine, It’s fun, I get to meet tons of great people. But try dancing with a crew in the cold, for 3 hours, and making only £20 each some days. I know that sounds amazing to some, but you’re underestimating the British weather. Body cold = Injuries = Out for a month = zero money. Some dancers do make a living from this, and I will never say don’t attempt it, if you are serious you can definitely make a living, but I aint trying to work 8 hours to get frost bite for £50 in London, that’s slavery.

Finally, I’m a Youtuber, I post videos, I’ve been doing so for a year because I love to entertain. But when a friend of mine made me come to the realization that I’m getting 20,000 views a month for a website, and making pennys, was it really worth my time? Youtube and Google will argue that before they came along we were making no money, so they are like our Saviors. But if you were getting 20,000 views anywhere else in Internet land, you will at least be making minimum wage.

I suppose I could get a 9-5 and work for a huge company, you will definitely be making money. But only enough to survive, and just enough to have you coming back for more. I personally think that’s a joke, the answer is No Mr Company. You can’t have 8 hours of my life everyday, I could think of million better things to do in that time. But, until I figure out a way to monetise my art, I am at your mercy full time work. Money runs this world, once you discover how to make it for yourself (Because believe me, there is a way) you will run the world.

Blogging Everyday & My Return to Blog Land!

So I’ve wanted to start a blog for so long now, and I probably have around 20 different blogs that I started ages ago somewhere in cyberspace. But this time is the real deal. What put me off before? All of these other bloggers giving guidelines of how blogs are supposed to be written (Must be between 200 and 300 words, you should post only once or twice a week, you must be sitting in a 90 degree angle facing the sun only when the stars are aligned!), fam, slap yourself, you’re not me.

So anyway, here is my attempt at blogging… Again! So as some of you guys may know, I make Youtube videos, but it’s a thing where my Youtube videos are a different version of me. In my videos I talk about topics, keep them interesting, and don’t say anything too controversial, but that’s not me all the time. Here I can talk whatever the hell I want, if you don’t like it, you don’t read it, so simple.

Blogging Everyday? Mate, if I feel like blogging 10 times a day, I will blog 10 times a day. Why people try to discourage others is beyond me. If one day I do 10 blog posts, I just created 10 new discovery points for my blog, what did you do today? Oh you updated your Facebook status 5 times, tweeted 30 times, read over 100 Facebook posts and watched 10 random Youtube videos? Tell me now that me Blogging is a waste of time, and for those of you who don’t know me personally, here is a Selfie of myself I took not giving a F*ck!

Enjoy